I think someone was getting arrested in front of the courthouse yesterday night. How convenient!
In other news, the shoes that have been tied over a telephone wire on Main Street have recently been taken down. Does that mean the drug dealer has left? Oh, Kirksville!
Sunday, March 30, 2008
Saturday, March 22, 2008
Easter Bunny
Russell Stover rabbit with peanut butter filling
aches from the ear and stomach
in silent suffering.
Whole spring bunnies from the cover mock
the victim's partial existence
as I look away, impartial to pain.
Tiny, singing fingers snatch,
from my averted eyes, another
mortal wound.
Little sisters can be so cruel to animals.
aches from the ear and stomach
in silent suffering.
Whole spring bunnies from the cover mock
the victim's partial existence
as I look away, impartial to pain.
Tiny, singing fingers snatch,
from my averted eyes, another
mortal wound.
Little sisters can be so cruel to animals.
Wednesday, March 19, 2008
The cigar man
Cigar men are the greatest of sorts, in my opinion. Not that I like smokers. Or cigars. But the sight of a man in a pot-bellied apron with a big, fat cigar drooping from his mouth saying, "See here, folks!"...fantastic!
Where might you see such a man? Does such a man even exist? He exists and he cooks like a god at the Santa Fe restaurant in Ethel, Missouri. The Santa Fe is only open two days a week, Saturday evenings and Sunday afternoons, but it's worth every gas mile to eat the cigar man's delectable home-cooked meals.
"Hey, there folks," the cigar man says with a jolly laugh as my family comes in to the small, brick room with picnic-style seating. "I made some noodles today so the fried chicken wouldn't fall off the plate!" None of us know what he's talking about, but we each bask in the presence of his unlit, wet cigar perched on that lovely little old man mouth of his. The antique train memorabilia on the walls behind him makes him another small town treasure in our eyes.
And does it ever really matter what that man is actually saying? He could be telling us, "I cut up some dead bodies and put them in the barbequed ribs we're serving tonight" and my family would just smile and eat every single bite we possibly could in order to keep the essence of every superb, possibly cannibalistic, taste.
If you also like food, and like eating food on Saturday evenings in small town locations, give the Santa Fe a call: 660.486.3334
Where might you see such a man? Does such a man even exist? He exists and he cooks like a god at the Santa Fe restaurant in Ethel, Missouri. The Santa Fe is only open two days a week, Saturday evenings and Sunday afternoons, but it's worth every gas mile to eat the cigar man's delectable home-cooked meals.
"Hey, there folks," the cigar man says with a jolly laugh as my family comes in to the small, brick room with picnic-style seating. "I made some noodles today so the fried chicken wouldn't fall off the plate!" None of us know what he's talking about, but we each bask in the presence of his unlit, wet cigar perched on that lovely little old man mouth of his. The antique train memorabilia on the walls behind him makes him another small town treasure in our eyes.
And does it ever really matter what that man is actually saying? He could be telling us, "I cut up some dead bodies and put them in the barbequed ribs we're serving tonight" and my family would just smile and eat every single bite we possibly could in order to keep the essence of every superb, possibly cannibalistic, taste.
If you also like food, and like eating food on Saturday evenings in small town locations, give the Santa Fe a call: 660.486.3334
Saturday, March 15, 2008
Sitting in a Hamburger
Downtown Kansas City: A woman with unruly black hair sits in a store that looks like a hamburger. She sits behind the fry counter, the fry counter without fries in a store that's painted like a hamburger, yet doesn't sell hamburgers. She sells clothes. Bold clothes. Clothes that make statements and start conversations. Clothes that blind its customers with colorful happiness. Clothes sold in a store the color of sheer delight.
She smiles as her piled-curls nod on her head, matching her hamburger painted surroundings. Black and white striped spandex and crazy parachuting top that labels her as nothing less than a character. The stuff songs are made of. She is the muse of her own hamburger castle. Her little store with its yarn clothing racks and brilliant yellows, greens, and oranges.
The store is shaped less than a square, unsettlingly small, yet its brilliance cannot be contained.
The sun shines brightly on hamburger styled clothing stores.
She smiles as her piled-curls nod on her head, matching her hamburger painted surroundings. Black and white striped spandex and crazy parachuting top that labels her as nothing less than a character. The stuff songs are made of. She is the muse of her own hamburger castle. Her little store with its yarn clothing racks and brilliant yellows, greens, and oranges.
The store is shaped less than a square, unsettlingly small, yet its brilliance cannot be contained.
The sun shines brightly on hamburger styled clothing stores.
Monday, March 3, 2008
The Radio Station
Everyone out there is looking for some moment of fame, I believe. And a giggling gentleman by the name of Corey received his moment of fame today. And perhaps Saturday afternoon also.
It all started with a name. Well, really, it started at the beginning of the story, so let's go there: Two friends of mine and I were stealing our own moment of local fame to interrupt an already-in-progress radio show at Kirksville's finest, KTRM, in order to hear our own voices laughing over the small niche of people who listen to Kirksville radio at 5:30pm on Saturday.
And running out of laughter and starting to look at each other awkwardly, we began to talk into our microphones about chocolate. Because who doesn't love chocolate? That kid from Willy Wonka and the Chocolate Factory sure loved chocolate. You know the one I'm talking about...who jumped in the vat of chocolate and ate as much as he could with his little German hands? No? Well apparently neither did I since I couldn't remember his name.
So we asked our trusty listeners who this fine lederhosen boy was. And what did we have to offer in return? A chocolate date, of course! What is better than going on a date with three hot, chocolate loving ladies?
And this is where the phone rang.
"KTRM"
"Augustus Gloop" said the adolescent voice, laughter in the background.
"Oh great! So, you wanna go on a date?" I try to say in my most sarcastically sexy voice.
"...Yeah," the voice giggles with more laughter in the background.
And I start to speak again when I hear a *click* on the other line.
...Not bad enough.
So here's to you, Corey for knowing that the little German boy who swam in the vat of chocolate in Willy Wonka and the Chocolate Factory's name was Augustus Gloop. And while I'm doing shout outs, here's to all the other adolescent boys who have called my show in the past as "Bill Murray" and "Alex Trebek." You may not have known what movies and television shows these actors have starred in, but good job finding something to do in Kirksville on all those weekends of yore.
It all started with a name. Well, really, it started at the beginning of the story, so let's go there: Two friends of mine and I were stealing our own moment of local fame to interrupt an already-in-progress radio show at Kirksville's finest, KTRM, in order to hear our own voices laughing over the small niche of people who listen to Kirksville radio at 5:30pm on Saturday.
And running out of laughter and starting to look at each other awkwardly, we began to talk into our microphones about chocolate. Because who doesn't love chocolate? That kid from Willy Wonka and the Chocolate Factory sure loved chocolate. You know the one I'm talking about...who jumped in the vat of chocolate and ate as much as he could with his little German hands? No? Well apparently neither did I since I couldn't remember his name.
So we asked our trusty listeners who this fine lederhosen boy was. And what did we have to offer in return? A chocolate date, of course! What is better than going on a date with three hot, chocolate loving ladies?
And this is where the phone rang.
"KTRM"
"Augustus Gloop" said the adolescent voice, laughter in the background.
"Oh great! So, you wanna go on a date?" I try to say in my most sarcastically sexy voice.
"...Yeah," the voice giggles with more laughter in the background.
And I start to speak again when I hear a *click* on the other line.
...Not bad enough.
So here's to you, Corey for knowing that the little German boy who swam in the vat of chocolate in Willy Wonka and the Chocolate Factory's name was Augustus Gloop. And while I'm doing shout outs, here's to all the other adolescent boys who have called my show in the past as "Bill Murray" and "Alex Trebek." You may not have known what movies and television shows these actors have starred in, but good job finding something to do in Kirksville on all those weekends of yore.
Sunday, March 2, 2008
On a Similar Note
I found a soulmate for the shopping cart lady today...wheelchair guy.
I saw him pushing an empty wheelchair down Jefferson Street around 2 AM on Saturday. The perfect match for two pushers. I think I'll wear a trashbag to the wedding if I get invited.
I saw him pushing an empty wheelchair down Jefferson Street around 2 AM on Saturday. The perfect match for two pushers. I think I'll wear a trashbag to the wedding if I get invited.
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